It seems that almost everywhere I look I encounter some sort of cause. Our world is consumed with causes right now. And for each cause there are countless propaganda and voices speaking out. But how many people are really being won (on either side)?
I have read various articles and open letters for causes with which I agree, yet at the end have felt somehow defeated. With all the attempted persuasion going on, one question has been circling my mind lately: Has persuasion come to mean alienation?
Merriam Webster dictionary certainly defines them differently:
Persuasion: the act of causing people to do or believe something, an opinion held with complete assurance
Alienation: a withdrawing or separation of a person or a person’s affections from an object or position of former attachment, a transfer of property to another
Upon reading the definition of alienation one might think, “wait… ‘from an object or position of former attachment?’… I am not formerly attached to my opponent or their position.
But if we look at it in a wider sense, what is the root of our cause? To promote equality? Love? Peace? Unity? Healing? Justice? Freedom? Salvation? This begs the question: each time we engage in attempted persuasion are we doing so because we want to see unity, progress, and change, or because we want to show that we are right? Further, assuming our goal is the former, then isn’t it true that, despite any differences, we do have a former attachment to our opponent solely based on the fact that they are also human?
Looking at the second part of the definition for alienation explains exactly how attempts at persuasion fail. Any teacher knows that you cannot just dump new information onto a student, (no matter how bright) and move on to the next lesson. Are you transferring your intellectual/moral/spiritual “property” or belief system in a way that will be effective and long lasting? Here are some questions a teacher must answer daily to make sure he or she is presenting information in a productive way: Are you taking into account the student’s prior knowledge or personal experience? Their learning style? The environment of the classroom (or in this case, social media platform?) The threshold of what they can absorb in one lesson? Are you checking in with how they are doing throughout the lesson, unit, semester, year? Are you seeing them as an individual, and including their feedback in your planning? As a former teacher I can tell you from experience, if the student is not “getting it”, then you need to adapt and change your approach. Sometimes, this means you have to admit where you failed and start from from scratch.
Witnessing for Jesus is an art of persuasion which includes lifestyle just as much as it does verbal communication. While learning how to witness is useful for any cause, to Christians it is extremely important, as Jesus commissioned us in Mark 16:15: “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation”. This is not a job that he gave lightly, and with conflict in headlines and increasing viral articles on social media, we must learn to be intentional, honest, and accessible as we approach others and attempt persuasion.
Jesus and the disciples give us many examples of how to witness, each time catering their approach to the individual. In John chapter 4, for instance, Jesus witnesses to a Samaritan woman at a well. Every action and word is intentional. Jesus (a Jew), initially breaks a barrier of society by approaching the woman (a Samaritan), and finds common ground (thirst). Throughout the conversation Jesus gradually reveals more about himself and the gospel. During the course of the conversation the woman stated that Jesus could not be greater than Jacob, and despite the error in her statement, Jesus did not take offense, nor did he pounce at the opportunity to prove her wrong. Instead, he drew in her curiosity with a true, non threatening statement: “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.””John 4:13-14.
At one point in their conversation, full of shame, the woman confessed to him that she was not married. Instead of condemning her, Jesus gently acknowledges the truth of her sin (that she had multiple husbands and was with a man out of wedlock), and in doing so, highlighted her need for salvation, forgiveness, and freedom from shame. Then when the woman tried to divert the conversation off topic, Jesus gently corrected her and redirected the conversation to what was important, introducing her to who he really was (he wanted to extend the eternal love of God to her). The woman responded to Jesus by acknowledging that she had heard of the messiah, but that he had not come yet. Finally, Jesus ended the conversation with the truth of the word of God, and left her to decide for herself. He revealed that he was in fact the messiah they were speaking of, who could offer her the living water they spoke of.
This is just one example of witnessing in the Bible, but you will find by further delving into the word that in each example of persuasion, certain rules or similarities beyond “convicting and convincing” exist in the strategy:
- Find common ground to begin the conversation
- Cater your approach to the individual/and get to know where they are coming from
- Put pride aside/ avoid an argument
- Keep on topic/ Focus on what is important (pointing them to Jesus)
- Share your experience
- Share the word of God
The Bible also gives us many instructions on how to live as Christians. The apostle Paul gives one example in Romans 12, specifically referring to how we should interact with others:
“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.” Romans 12:14-16
Notice the verse does not say to rejoice with your friends who rejoice, or to mourn with those who agree with you. This verse is ALL INCLUSIVE. Just as the gospel of Jesus Christ is all inclusive. And just how our interaction with others not of the faith must become.
Condescension and aggression have become expected, even looked forward to, because they invite more of the same. They invite people to let loose and wage war with words. People go into conversations waiting impatiently to drop their own truth bomb… to be the first one to deliver revelation. We must constantly check our hearts, because when pride is involved, NO ONE wins.
“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,” 1 Peter 3:15
I ask you, which would be more effective: To barge into your new neighbor’s home and demand that they take notice of you and adopt your ways? Or would you knock on their door and politely introduce yourself, then allow them to do the same? When we engage in aggressive or passive aggressive attempts at persuasion they become one-way conversations, each party becomes defensive, and the conversation is no longer productive. It is imperative that we respect the other person’s views or feelings. Respecting the other person does not mean we are agreeing with them, it means we are recognizing their right to be an individual and to have a view or feelings. Sometimes it is hard to respect a person who acts in a way or believes in things that go against everything we believe in, but it is important to remember that by respecting them, we are respecting the one who created them…our heavenly Father. It is only from a foundation of respect, that we can begin to build something new and lasting.
You may be thinking this means you cannot be passionate…Being passionate does not mean you are willing to kill for your cause, it means you are willing to be killed for it. It means that you won’t give up, no matter how long it takes. No matter the size of the opposition. No matter the complexity of the strategy. Being passionate about something means you care enough to have a vision and see it through. And vision is hardly a demolition derby, it is a construction project.
I will leave you with this verse and final thought:
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:17
If we are attempting to persuade others, either by our words or our deeds, we must make sure that we are not losing sight of the reason we are witnessing, and the character of the one who has sent us to do the witnessing. That reason can be summarized through Jesus’ interactions with humanity in three words: I love you.
Additional Scripture:
- “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” -Romans 12:9-10
- Jesus Talks With a Samaritan Woman
“Now Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that he was gaining and baptizing more disciples than John— although in fact it was not Jesus who baptized, but his disciples. So he left Judea and went back once more to Galilee. Now he had to go through Samaria. So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her,“Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans. ) Jesus answered her,“If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?” “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Jesus answered,“Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” “I have no husband,” she replied.
Jesus said to her,“You are right when you say you have no husband. He told her,“Go, call your husband and come back.” The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.” “Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.” “Woman,”Jesus replied,“believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” Then Jesus declared,“I, the one speaking to you—I am he.”” -John 4:1-26 https://www.bible.com/bible/111/JHN.4.1-26 - “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” -Colossians 3:12-14
- Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. -Romans 12:21
- Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. -Romans 14:19
- Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. “To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.” -1 Corinthians 9:20-23
- “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” -Mark 1:17 NIV
Food for thought (or conversation):
What are you investing in with what and how you speak?